I'm officially in a funk... today is my first day of taking action steps to getting out of it!

Each night I pull a random outfit from the closet, layout the workout clothes to throw on in the morning, and double check I have everything to get me through the workout the next morning. Not only that but I never allow myself more then 20 minutes to get ready so hair and makeup just don't get done. I believe in the saying "look good, feel good" and lately I have been looking and feeling wha wha.

I met one of my dear Friends Laura last night, whenever I get together with her it seems like if I have any stress, dopiness, or anything negative it all goes away and I start feeling silly, happy, energetic and excited. Which go figure those and then some are all words I would use to define Laura. I've seen her two days in a row and each day I greet her with "I look like a hot mess/crap". Hot mess is my new favorite word that I've been using lately and for the majority I use it to explain what I look/feel like for the day.

So after leaving dinner with Laura I was in a very good mood and decided I'm done being a hot mess and I am going to do something about it. So last night I strategically picked out an outfit that actually fit, had some style to it, and it put a little sass to my step. I also decided to throw on some makeup which I haven't done that since....I can't remember. The hair still didn't get done but I did make sure the top of it was dry before exiting the locker room. But I think it's working, I greeted our receptionist with a boisterous good morning, tolerated small talk with a smile on my face, and have that old love and feeling:) We will see how long it lasts, if it does it's silly what a few extra minutes to pull yourself together can do for yourself and in turn those around you. I'm sure my coworkers are silently thanking me...

A topic that Laura and I talked about last night that really struck a cord with me was wounds from our past. I was telling her that I found all my report cards from when I was little and how I started to cry because I felt bad for myself as a kid but also for my parents. They probably thought they were raising a Tanzanian devil! I clearly remember a teacher who made it a point to let me know I wasn't cool and in turn I made I point to show her I was ( I live/d by the motto "well behaved women rarely make history" much to my mothers horror). Any who few things she said to me I can remember them like the day they were said. Laura had some similar examples and it really put me in check for how I speak to people. Especially since I'm blessed with the worlds greatest nieces, nephews and God son. As they are growing up I hope I am always speaking words of encouragement to them and also everyone around me. It's so easy to judge, criticize, correct etc and everyone has enough people in their life that are good at it. Which is too bad since most of the time I doubt that's what they need. So my new action step is to let go of all that and just listen and encourage. This should be interesting...